thoughts of a broken heart : jimmy choo bag

just fifteen minutes ago i was devastated:

When your heart is broken it is the saddest thing in the world. All your energy leaves you and everything in your life seems to lose all meaning. You gave your heart and soul to this love, and now it is no more. How can your heart ever be whole again? There is a very deep thought attributed the Mystical Rabbi of Kotzk, "there is nothing as whole as a broken heart". Although a broken heart is painful, it brings a person to turn to G-d. He realizes that he is ultimately alone in the world except for G-d who is always there to comfort him. but also all one needs to do is come down and think of what they just did and try to solve the conflict.

that's what i did with my other half and now we are okey. 

this is when i  was insipired to post my heart, lush it as hard as i could to the cruel cruel world.

:

I want to cry
I want to scream
I want to tell you mostly
I hate that I'm so afraid of everything
I hate that you’re the one thing I want the most but can't have
I hate that you let me go before I got even got to say goodbye
I wish that you would come back to me
I wish I were strong enough to say no to you
I wish I could believe my own lies I use to cover up the pain you left
I need to move on says my head
I need to hold on says my heart
I need to decide says my mind
I envy the way this hasn’t hurt you at all
I envy her
I envy the fact you don’t understand what this feels like at all
I want to hurt you
I want to be with you
I want this nightmare to be over
I wish I could make things they were before you
I wish I could change time
I wish I could change you
I wish I could have hurt you before you hurt me
I wish I would have given you the letter when I wanted
I need you out of my thoughts
I need you out of my heart
I need to start doing things for me
I hate that you used me
I hate that I gave you something I can never have back
I hate that I wasted it with you
I'm tired of hoping aimlessly for you
I'm tired of wanting something I can't have
I'm tired of hurting me for things that aren’t my fault
I'm sorry I was good enough
I'm sorry I defended you when everyone else was right
I'm sorry I couldn’t make you happy
Funny though how you never once said sorry for hurting me,
for breaking me,
for not loving me
but i love you still jimmy choo bag.

i got this bag as a gift from a good friend of mine, Nduku. it was such an honour to finally have a jimmy choo bag * never had one *

hope this emotional/fashion blogging has inspired in a way and made you think twice next time you have a beef in a relationship.

remember,

“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”

good day

x.

shitawa.